9/6/2006: J. Pepe's

James the Shocker ever so shockingly suggested we go to possibly the douchiest hang-out on all of Greenville last night. That's right...J. Pepe's. I hadn't been there since I was like 19, so it was somewhat of a nostalgic voyage. I was actually looking forward to it until we got within shouting distance and noticed the Pat Green meets Billy Ray Cyrus impersonator on the patio belting out some acoustic/a cappella Spice Girls, "if you wanna be my lover, first you gotta be my friend". Good times. We pushed our ways through the teaming throng of underage SMU Greek life and into a nice quiet inside corner.

The service was expectedly horrible. They obviously hire the kids that are too stupid to work at Snuffers across the street. It took us thirty minutes to get our menus, fifteen more to get drinks and then another hour to get our orders taken and our food served. In that time we were offered jello shots (WHOOOOO-OO-oooo) by the most annoyingly un-cute girl ever.


Tangent Time: So I gave her my best Steven Seagal face: HEY GUYS!!!! HOW BOUT SOME JELLO SHOTS!!! NO!?!?!? COME ON THEY'RE ONLY TWO DOLLARS!!! Seriously though. Peep the body language bitches. We don't want any. You're not cute. Please don't come back two more times.

Anyways, we got our food and it was not so great. I think I ordered a chicken chimichanga which came smothered in Ragu Thick n' Chunky. Even the rice sucked. We didn't even get a chance to order queso. J. Pepe's is deserving of maybe one chip because my hunger was definitely sated. I think Taco Yes! would have been better. Oh, and on the way out it was an entirely a cappella rendition of the Bee Gee's "How Deep Is Your Love"